Contd frm one):
Few hours later, Kalito returned looking very upset- GP was washing with a piece of slim-almost broken-‘canoe’ soap which he most probably got courtesy of their bootilicious neighbor, Biola
“Guy, pesin beat you for road ni?” He asked Kalito
“Man utd lost again” Kalito replied seating down
“mtchewww dat one na new thing? I for surprise if you say una win”
“Bad belle”
“park well joor”
“you no go understand. Imagine say na draw we just dey draw
“hah, Kwara United go beat una hands down dis season mah no lie u”
“gerraaahia men!”
They were still talking that game, debating and all that when a group of three elegantly dressed, most probably church officials, strolled up to them
“greetings in the name of Jehovah” They chorused a greeting but Kalito and GP remained quiet
“brothers”, the leader of the group repeated” we are greeting”
“we get ears na” Kalito retorted
GP rinsed his hands and gathered his oversized singlet that was fast becoming like a brazillian bikini as he made to enter the one room apartment
“excuse me bro” the church guy called after him
“you!” GP replied hotly” shey I tell you say mek u no come back nah in you go carry your General Overseer and mama General Overseer come abi?”
“No, brother. The last time I was here, you didn’t even allowed me give you what I brought for you”
At the mentioned of the phrase “What I brought for you” GP’s eyes glowed and Kalito scratched his bears.
“and wetin be dat?” he still asked
“oh, its something refreshing to the soul, an eternal refreshment”
“ehen, oya now- show us the way!” Kalito urged with excitement and interest
The leader of the group motioned to the only lady in the group who came forward with a big black bag and began opening it. At that point, Kalito was already fantasizing the quantity of food he will gallop.
“wetin be dis?” GP frowned when he saw the lady bringing out tracks and pamphlets instead of take-away packs of juicy coconut rice
“Na meal ticket be dat?” Kalito added with a more pronounced frown
“this is more” The lady preceeded to explain” it contains messages of salvation, of paradise”
“how dat one come settle the crises weh dey our belle now?”
“Mtchewww” Kalito hissed
“spiritual food, brother…….”
“see bone dat one” Kalito interrupted” we no be spirits. Spiritual food for spirits and ancestors, pounded yam and Edikaikon or egusi for the physical. As you dey take eye look us now, we resemble spirit?”
“that’s not what I’m saying…..”
“oya mek una dey waka dey go” GP ordered lokking at the light skinned chubby lady who looked more like a jew than a Calabar lady
“Yes, no come here again” Jim added” Mary Magdelene”
“my name is not Mary Magdelene, my name is Vivian” she corrected them
“Vivian ko Vuvuzela ni, no just come back here” he emphasized
It wasn’t the guys fault, that period was the “wrongest” time to share the gospel with hungry guys, let alone journalists who no doubt no longer find it funny that the “Pen is mightier than the sword” in fact, as it stood, the “Pot is mightier than the radio”
To be continued
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