EARLY MORNING......................
“Guy, I dey go see my people dem
for village” Kalito informed GP
“Say wetin happen?”
“Lagos life don tire me”
“Lagos life? Lagos neva tire you bros. na because you no dey dem Banana
Island, Ikeja”
“Mosquitoes only sef don molest
pesin die.
Wich kind life be dis” Kalito
lamented
“Dem tell you say mosquito no dey
ya village abi?”
The two friends were still
dragging issues when their neighbor Ekene appeared from devil-knows-where. He
had been away for a week
“Looku looku” Kalito hailed him
excitedly
“Shey I been warn you say mek you
no dey call me with that yeye name” he reminded him with a stern look
“Bros, abeg no vex” Kalito apologized
“Wetin sef” GP countered “ shut
up dia. Na him say mek your eye big as e dey? Guy park well”
“Ifa woz you slap eh”
“Amadioha slap you dia”
GP and Ekene squared up as if
they were going to fight
“See them” Kalito mocked “pipo
wey never see food chop wan come dey form Olympic boxers dis early momo. Oya
now, mek una dey fight. Mumu pipo”
In a matter of minutes, they had
settled and gone over the whole scene.
“Guys, I wan buy car. Not motor
o, I say car” Ekene announced
“Eh!” both Kalito and GP
exclaimed in the same breath
“Una get wool for ear ni?”
“Guy wait” GP sat up” you win
Nairabet abi you don finally kill your madam Atinuke, eh?”
“Kai!” Kalito exclaimed even
louder
“I go collect loan. See I don
tire to dey trek. How pesin go dey Lagos come dey trek everyday, haba!”
“Guy, e be like say dem swear for
you true true” GP pointed out “if not how pesin wey him head correct go collect
loan for dis kind economy. Wetin you wan use repay?”
“Money na. See, relax……..”
“Relax wetin?” Kalito asked sitting
upright “last last na aunty Atinuke Go suffer am. You go just run dat woman
restaurant down”
“Naso the small small change wey
she dey hustle feed her children go dey just vamus dey go settle ya useless
loan” GP lamented with genuine sympathy
“Mek una chill na, wetin dey work
una sef” Ekene hissed
“No just worry, you hear?” GP softened
“ mek she just complain say her meat or kpomo don dey disappear for store, na
that day I go just burst ya yawa” he added with palms open to the sky
Why would a restaurant attendant
decide to get a loan just to buy a car?
“Na packaging na, no be Lagos we
dey? Una dey dull o”
“Kontinu” Kalito urged him on,
rather amused
“Una think say na everybody wey
una see get car na him be government worker?”
“How you want dey fuel the car
sef” GP asked
“See question. Wait sef, Kalito,
no be you say you wan buy camel?”
“Ehen, camel dey use fuel ni?”
“See dis aboki o, water go that
camel go drink go pass 145/litre of fuel”
GP burst into a delirious
laughter but Kalito was not laughing, his attention was on the smell coming
from the direction of the kitchen
“Bros,” he turned to GP with eyes
wide opened “the food don dey burn o”
“Chai!” GP jumped rushig to the
makeshift kitchen
Minutes later he returned licking
his lips
“How far, e burn?” Kalito asked
“No, e remain small but I add
small water sha”
“Ehen” Kalito yawned
“No wahala e don nearly done, no
worry”
“Wetin una dey cook sef?” Ekene
asked
“E no concern you, I fit no give
you”
“I tell you say I wan chop
before? Stingy man!”
“Shebi u no dey our level”
“Na beans” Kalito declared
“Mtcheww” Ekene hissed “ na beans
sef na him GP dey stingy on top”
“You go chop abi you no go chop” Kalito
querried
“Eh unto say una don cook am, mek
I just help una finish am”
“Thank you, we no need help. Come
dey go ya house”
“On top beans wey go even mess
after him chop?”
“Ifa give you this beans mek I
bend” GP swore
“Haba, bros. na joke na, shuuuuu?
Pesin no fit follow you play again abi?”
Kalito shrugged and made his way
to the kitchen as Ekene continued trying to soften GP. In the distance you
could hear their voices in the early hours of that morning.
THE STORY CONTINUES....
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