Story Series: Popular Side (Part 1)

On a particularly very sunny Friday, GP was sitting at home lamenting the economic situation of the country. It has been days since he had eaten a good meal. The enzymes in his stomach had no choice but to embark upon a compulsory dry fasting. Chai, it wasn’t easy.

He heard a knock on his door

“Who dey dia?”

“Its me” came the reply

“Your papa no gif u name wen dem born u abi?” GP hissed his question

“I have a name, i'm brother Moses”

“Ehen wetin u want”

“I’m an evangelist……..”

“Nobody dey house” Mr. GP countered

“But…..but we’ve been talking” the voice outside protested

“I say nobody dey house, u no get ear ni, oya come dey go!”

The Evangelist guy had no choice but to walk away since the owner of the house wasn’t interested. Minutes later, another knock, heavy knock came again

“The kind thunder wey go fire you ehn….” GP screamed from inside

“Fire who? Abeg come open door jare na me Kalito”

GP reluctantly got up for it was his friend who has been around the neighbourhood for a while

“Guy why u dey sweat like dis?” he asked Kalito

“Sweat? You dey call dis one sweat? You neva see sweat”

Kalito removed his shirt and laid on the single six sprint bed. GP could literally see his ribs bare as if they were going to break out

“chai, Kalito, you escape Holocost ni?”

“na hunger o”

“chai, you sef?”
“Ehen me sef----abeg food dey dis house?”

“My brother even water sef no dey”

“And you are still here your mates are out there hustling buying Camries, mtchewww”

“Wetin you dey cheewww, better go back ur country sef before I report mek dem come deport you”

Both of them were hungry and fed up with the propaganda the national media houses keep chunking out now and then. Like everyone else, they haven’t seen the statistics on paper real since the ordinary man in the slumbs cannot be assured of “our daily bread”. Even the churches were affected by the dwindling economy as evidenced in offerings and tithes. It had become very rare to see people “sowing seeds” now and then during worship services and weddings too had become rare.

“How your girlfriend Obiageli asked Kalito

“dat one don run away tey tey she talk say no be to suffer her mama born am” he informed

“shebi I warn you before”

“Warn ko warm ni, she don waka go back minna”

They talked about their misfortunes for a while

“my aunty, tell me say Amadi Felix the CNPP presidential candidate for 2019 election dey give people free food o” Kalito informed

“na for disable and old people na, me sef hear dat one”

“abegi, GP, if you no want d package me dey go form epilepsy collect aleast one mudu of garri”

“epilepsy ko electricity ni, guy no try dat one, Mazi Chimezie try dat one fail”

“d thing na luck na”

“shey na me dey tell u. you never hear say dat woman weh get sharp eyes dey dia abi?”

“which woman, guy?”

“Modupe”

“chai. No wonder Mazi failed. Dat woman fit see fake sickness wallai. She go just disgrace person”

“before nko?”

“mek I just continue my black market fuel business”

“good, if not na pikin weh you fit born go wan bath you for market”

“abi o. mek I go watch Man Utd match”

“Man Utd still dey exist ni?”

“no, na slow motion I dey go watch, idiot”

“for London?

“No, na for Warri”

“dey go, ” GP dismissed him

“Blues for life, true Red fan”

“Fan ko AC ni, oya dey go”

It wasn’t just these guys in the neighbourhood that were experiencing this hard time, the average youth in the country all round was not finding it reggae and blues.

(to be continued)

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