Valentine: Love or Lust and Sex?

For many decades before I was born, February 14th has always been St. Valentine’s Day aka lovers’ day and perhaps many years after I’m gone it still will be.

But what really takes place on February 14th each year? Is it really a day for genuine expression of affection through sharing of gifts, quality time and fun or a license free day for x-rated activities?

I mean it’s on Valentine’s Day that you learn of cases of virginity loss, rape, wild drunken parties, and an alarming rise in the patronage of brothels and road side sex hawkers. 

Personally I’m a fan of daily expression of love, and don’t believe one should wait to that once each year. I can buy her flowers any day and each day, take her out, have a house party and all that.

Well, just what exactly is your idea of Valentine’s Day?

Relationship: Should a lady ask a man out?

With
 Gloria Eswayi Emmanuel

The issue of who should first profess love between a man and woman in order to start a romantic relationship has become a bone of contention within the African context.

To some, whether it's the guy or lady that first profess love, it's a matter of indifference to them. To others, it's a taboo for a lady to first profess love to a guy.

 They believe a lady who first profess love to a guy will not be respected in the relationship, and for her to maintain her dignity, whether she first has a crush on a guy, she should remain silent and if need be, die with her feelings unexpressed.

In an 'ideal African society', a guy who is interested in any lady, is expected to profess his love to her through whichever medium he dims fit. The big question here is...going by the opinion of an ideal African society, about this issue, what happens to a lady who's in love with a guy she is not permitted to tell and the guy isn't noticing her on his own?

My take! It's true we Africans are expected to preserve, maintain and promote the 'African culture'.

Evidently, there's no single word known as the
African culture; though, there are various cultures in Africa depending on where we come from, and some of these cultures don't foster the development of Africa and her people.Eg, the killings of twins in cross river state which was abolished by a white lady known as Mary Slessor. It is also pertinent that cultures that don't promote the development of Africa be terminated.

I mean, there's no harm in a lady telling a guy that she loves him through whichever way she feels like expressing  her love.

Evidently, women have innate powers that speaks volumes even without saying a word. Its better than sitting and waiting that the guy notice you. You mustn't walk up to him and say hey, I love you! There are different ways to do so, e.g, becoming friends with him, talk always...hope you are not expecting me to give you expo?

Well ladies, move forward by killing every mentality responsible for your set backs!

Feature: I'm Sorry.

By A.R.C

When I was much younger there was this rhyme I learnt in primary school. "There are five magic words that I know, "PLEASE, EXCUSE ME, SORRY, THANK YOU and PARDON ME"

Recently, I read from my daily devotional (Evangel meal), that confession calls for action... these actions are working towards not making the same confession again. Likewise, you can't keep making mistakes just because you can say Sorry.

Most of us are too quick to say sorry even when we're not sure what we're apologising for. You hear some people say "shebi it's sorry you want, Oya sorry" or

 "so that peace will reign, sorry"... 

Sorry demands remorse. Try to find out how and why the second party was offended, understand that you may not pick offence for the same reason but you're not them hence, find out what the reason is, now you know, resolve not to do it again. Then, you're truly sorry.

A genuine 'Sorry' can restore that relationship, friendship, marriage, partnership...

When you've wronged someone, admit it, feel remorse and apologise, no one in history has ever 

choked to death from swallowing their pride.

Some may say sorry changes nothing... It does to an extent when it's genuine this way it prevents future disastrous occurrence and repetition of silly mistakes... be Sorry and mean it

Relationship: 7 Signs That Shows Your Girlfriend isn't ready for marriage

People enter into a relationship for different reasons- fun, benefits and ultimately for marriage. It's the dream of every young man to settle with the lady of his dreams. But why do some guys end up severely disappointed in their ladies and ultimately call off the relationship? Here are 7 reasons:

1. She demands excessively and never spend her money on you. She will do everything to milk you dry and never deem it fit to buy even singlet for you. If you complain she'll say she don't have money. Such attitude is an indication she's not considering settling down with you

2. She never talk to you about marriage or children. It is expected that both of you get to plan your future home together including the number of kids to have and their upbringing. If she dosent like to talk about anything related to that, she's not the one.
3. When she refused to introduced you to her family when you've already introduced her to your family and you are yet to meet any of her siblings then she's not thinking about marrying you. She's just using you
till she gets who she wants.

4. She dosen't communicate. Ladies who think it's the man's duty to do the calling all the time do not understanding the concept of relationship to start with. It's a mutual thing- at least that's how it should be. Communication is key to any meaningful relationship and if she's indifferent about that, simply walk away because she's not marrying you eventually.

5. She dosen't apologize when she's wrong. If your girlfriend feels too proud to apologise after a misunderstanding even when it's glaring that she's wrong. . She doesn't love you and won't marry you.

6. She's not appreciative: if your girlfriend doesn't appreciate what you are doing for her or she's fond of saying "what are you doing for me?" She's not ready to marry you. Start looking for an alternative now.

7. She's not humble: if she thinks/act like she's doing you a favour by dating you then she won't marry you.